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What's a resolution?

1/1/2013

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I hear everyone talking about their New Year's Resolutions and just have to laugh a little bit. Yes, I too have made the all changeable promises that rarely come to fruition. We all have, I'm sure, but I for one, am tired of making empty promises to myself. Especially by announcing it to the world that I am going to set myself up for failure. 

This year i'm going to be doing things a little bit different. I am going to focus more on doing things that I know I'm capable of. I plan on pushing myself beyond my limits. But not in an unrealistic way. In a way that I know is possible. 

Yes, I'm guilty of making empty resolutions. I've made them all!  "This year I'm going to lose that 10 lbs that I put on over the holidays AND another 5 lbs for good measure!" "This year I'm going to the gym 5 to 6 days a week." "This year I will be more motivated and make my bed everyday." "This year I am going to get my degree!" Blah blah blah. I realized a long time ago, resolutions are promises we make to ourselves to make us feel better in the moment.  It feels good to come off of a holiday sugar high and say that you aren't going to indulge in poor eating habits anymore. It eases the guilt after you've just finished off the last piece of pumpkin pie, for the 4th time!

I think that we should all make a resolution to make no more resolutions. Let's just all decide to make a better life for ourselves, without all of the pressure of promises that we most likely won't be able to follow through with. I think it's easier to have realistic expectations. 

These things are realistic to me.  They are doable, and they are things that I know I can do, and not be embarrassed two months down the road, because I failed. 

I AM going to go to the gym this year. I have a membership that I pay for every month. I am crazy to just send them money every month for no reason. I am making no promises that I will work out 5 days a week, because I know that a lot of times I will go and just use the free tanning bed. But that's a realistic promise that I can make to myself, to actually be at the gym this year. 

I am not going to keep eating junk food like I have been over the holidays. I hate cooking as it is, so this is an easy one for me. I reserve these sweet recipes for one time a year, because I don't like being in the kitchen.  I don't seem to be as fascinated with store bought treats, so I think I'm safe with this one too.  I have teenagers, so the store bought treats don't last long in my house, nor does anything else for that matter. I'm good with this realistic expectation for myself. 

I will be spending more time doing what makes ME happy.  There isn't enough time in the day, most days.  I write a lot! Writing is hard work. If you are a writer, then you know exactly what I mean. It's emotionally, and mentally draining, although it's extremely fulfilling and therapeutic at the same time.  But it is hard to get motivated when you are writing something as exhausting as I am right now, with the story of my childhood. It's a full time job for to write. So please excuse me if I don't have much time for anything else.  If I seem edgy and tired, it's because I am. I'm reliving things that were very emotional or traumatic for me.  I apologize in advance. 

I will not make any promises of being more socially available, at least not until I'm at a place that I can be.  There is no sense in me saying that I "resolve" to accept more invitations to do things, when I know that I probably won't be able to. I do however, promise to keep in touch with everyone the best way that I know how, which is usually on the computer.  That's where I'm at most of the time. 

I will be taking the little bit of free time that I do have, and focus on learning more about my growing children.  Most of the time they are in their rooms, rarely showing their beautiful faces to me unless it's dinner time. I plan on changing that. We are all growing in different directions and I don't want to miss anything, no matter how busy I am. 

So remember, take the pressure off of yourself. It's not a contest to see who can make the most resolutions or the most outrageous ones. Be realistic, and you will be less likely to disappoint yourself in the end.  Set reasonable goals with everything that you decide you need to do in the new year. Push yourself for sure, but don't do it to the point that you end up failing.  

Just keep it real! 
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    Author

    Charlie Cain-Tolbirt

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    I live and write on the beautiful Gulf Coast of Florida.  

    I am first and foremost a mother, struggling daily to get my children to understand that I am never wrong.  I am probably the most unrecognized writer you don't know yet.  I've been told I have a happy smile, and since I believe we should work with what we're given, I try to share it with as many people as I can.  I want everyone to like me, but realize not everyone will.  I personally think it's their loss. 

     I've been writing, seriously, since I was 15 years old. I have written 5 children's books (not yet published), and have two unfinished novels, in addition to this book.  I write poetry, song lyrics, and of course the occasional quote or inspirational thought.  

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